The wedding is less than two weeks away and there are several thoughts swirling through my head. Top of the list: Where can I find a good hamburger? Actually, that question arises only at lunchtime and I don’t think it’s wedding-related. Here’s a sampling of what’s going on in my brain in the days leading up to the ceremony:

**Maybe if I don’t wear deodorant to the ceremony some people will stay away. There’s got to be some way to be certain there’s enough food for me and my friends.

**Where can I find glass bottles for table decorations? Oh, duh, coffee shops. Scratch that. The Internet.

**Wedding favors? Pfff. Who wants a wedding favor? Give me something to eat that tastes good. A mint anyone?

**She keeps joking that she’s going to buy me more socks Fortunately the weather’s warming up, so I won’t actually get cold feet. But hey, we’re registered at Macy’s. I might as well sign up for some.

**What am I going to do with my two 1-year-old tabby cats? We can’t have them at the new place.

**Where can I find about 1,000 lemons? Lemonade is so much better fresh.

**If I don’t wear deodorant, will she turn around halfway down the aisle? Will she stand up there next to me? Has she ever cared if I didn’t wear deodorant?

**I write a lot of obituaries at work. How do I make sure the wedding vows bear no resemblance? (Just kidding, I came up with that one just now).

**Friends, dear friends, thank you for RSVP’ing to the wedding. And shame on you, if you didn’t send it back. We put a stamp on it!

**Will we come out of this party with holes in both our pockets, or just one?

**Wow. After several showers we certainly have enough cooking utensils to cook for an army. Can we register for food?

**Why can’t we register at Costco? A lifetime supply of Top Ramen or TP would be cool.

**How many people will I actually know? Will my face get tired of smiling?

**Wow. This is actually happening.

**Oh, I can’t wait for the honeymoon.

**Did I mention I could use some lemons?

Peter Burke, editor of the Press-Banner since July 2009, invites Scotts Valley and San Lorenzo Valley residents to submit their own engagement and wedding announcements to pbeditor@pressbanner.com. And if you have any lemons, don’t hesitate to drop him a line.